The Angst of Hermione Granger
by Katz Potter
Summary: CHAPTER 4 POSTED!For lack of a better title, I have named it thus. PG13 for cursing and at least one described kissy scene. HHr. Hermione attempts suicide. Does Harry save her? Please RR!
1. The Attempt

A/n: Okay, so this is my first actual angst fic. I'm not gonna post it til I get the 'okay' from Lily, 'cause she's helping me out... she's beta'ing this for me.  
  
DC: I own nothing except the plot. The Muse J.K. Rowling owns the rest.  
  
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Chapter 1: The Attempt  
  
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Hermione Granger sighed and set down her quill, finished. She had spent most of the night on this. She quickly made a copy of her document and then lay her wand on her bedside table, along with the locket Harry had given her for Christmas. She rolled up the two lengths of parchment and set them on her bedside table as well. Then she changed into her favorite dress, a sky blue and yellow striped one. She went to bed.  
  
~~~The Next Morning~~~  
  
Hermione woke up feeling gloomy. She knew what she was going to do. Now she just had to do it. She stood up and picked up the two rolls of parchment. Sighing, she brushed her hair out and and took a final look at the picture of Harry on her beside table. Slowly, she picked it up and kissed it.  
  
"I love you Harry," she whispered, setting the picture down and walking out of the dorm.  
  
As she walked through the Common Room, she purposely dropped one of the rolls of parchment on a table. Then she headed over to the portrait hole, walking past Harry and Ron without a glance.  
  
"Hey, Herm, where're you going?" Harry asked.  
  
"Nowhere. Just a walk," she replied casually.  
  
"Can I come with?"  
  
"No!" She snapped this unexpectedly, and immediately regretted her tone. "I need to be alone," she added quickly, fleeing. She walked through the silent halls down to the Entrance Hall, where she pinned up the second roll of parchment to the bulletin board. Then, just as she was about to walk out, someone spoke.  
  
"Hello, Granger." She whipped around.  
  
"What do you want, Malfoy?"  
  
"I want to know why you're so dressed up today, Mudblood," Malfoy replied, sneering.  
  
"Go shove it up your ass," Hermione replied, turning.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I said, go shove it up your damn ass!"  
  
"Why, you little...." He started toward her, most likely to slap her or some other form of torture. She immediately ran outside. Surprisingly, he didn't follow her.  
  
'Thank God', she thought as she ran to the edge of the forest. She began to walk slowly along it, heading for the lake.  
  
###In the Common Room###  
  
"What's with her?" Harry asked.  
  
Ron shrugged. Suddenly, he noticed the roll of parchment on the table next to theirs. "Hey, what's this?" he asked, picking it up and opening it. He read it through, becoming paler and paler as he read on. Finally, he set it on the table and turned it towards Harry.  
  
"You might want to read this, Harry." Harry picked it up and began to read:  
  
To Whom It May Concern:  
  
  
  
I guess you could call this the story of my life so far. I'm writing this for no actual purpose, so to speak. Except for one small reason that shall be revealed at the end of this letter.  
  
I was born in York, England, on September 19, 1980. I had a happy childhood. I was a very avid reader, and had read all the books my parents had bought me at least twice before the age of ten.  
  
At school, I was praised by my teachers and some of the older students as well. However, the students in my grade did not like me much because I always got the best grades and had the answer to any question the teacher asked. They always teased me about my bushy hair, which has tamed quite a bit since then. But at least once a week, I would come home crying because somebody had been teasing me. My parents did the best they could, but even they could not put a stop to the teasing.  
  
Then I got my letter from Hogwarts. When I first read it, I could not believe my eyes. A witch! Me! Someone like me, who has been teased all her life, could think of no better way to get revenge on the teasers. I could curse them all to tiny bits. Then I remembered that revenge was not the right thing.  
  
I got all my books and supplies within days of getting the letter. As usual, I read all my books immediately.  
  
On the train, I met two boys, a dark haired one and a red haired one. I started babbling on about all the spells I had learned. Then I realized they were looking rather uncomfortable, so I cut off and hastily introduced myself. The dark haired boy introduced himself as Harry Potter. I immediately told him I had read all about him. The red haired boy introduced himself as Ron Weasley.  
  
Little did I know that they would become my friends later on.  
  
One night, I caught Harry and Ron sneaking out. I, of course, followed them to ensure they did not get into trouble. That ended up with me almost being eaten by a three headed dog named Fluffy. I did not speak to Ron or Harry from then on.  
  
Then came Halloween. As we left Charms class that afternoon, I heard Ron call me a... something. I can't really remember, but I know it made me start crying. I rushed to the nearest bathroom. I was still in there when a gigantic mountain troll lumbered in and started thrashing about. I, of course, screamed. Then Harry and Ron came to my rescue. They battled the mountain troll courageously, but would have lost House points had it not been for me. From then on, we were friends.  
  
I have always felt a love for Harry and Ron. It was the love that all best friends have for each other. But over the years, I have begun to feel something more for Harry, something deeper than the love of friendship. I didn't know what it was.  
  
That is, until the beginning of June, 1997. It was then that I realized that the something more, something deeper was love. Real love. I realized what I loved him for, too. I loved him not for his scar and popularity, but for his caring, generosity, kindness, and that all too sweet look that he has when he's confused or feeling lost, like a little boy. I even love him for that stupid, headstrong stubbornness of his. Though he does rush into things without thinking it through first, he always got through it. Of course, usually I was there to save his bum when he couldn't.  
  
I love him for his tender hugs, those soft kisses on the cheek and forehead when he thinks I'm asleep. I love him for the way that whenever I fall asleep in the Common Room reading a book, he'll always mark my place, carry me over to a couch, lay me down, and conjure up a pillow and blanket for me. I love him for his presence beside me on the Gryffindor balcony when I can't sleep, those random chocolate frogs, and the way I know I can count on him to be there for me and support me. I love him for the way his face lights up when he's happy, the way his eyes twinkle when he's up to no good, and the way he laughs, sweet yet rough, deep yet shallow.  
  
I love him for his knowledge that he can count on me to be there for him, whenever, wherever. I love him for the way he has matured over the past three years, ever since Voldemort came back, but is still as mischievious as ever. I love him for the way he protects me and stands up for me whenever Malfoy insults me. And last, I love him for his good looks, the rugged face, the muscular torso... and the legs that could take him anywhere within twenty miles without getting tired. I love those deep, emerald green eyes of his, and his ever so unruly hair that sticks up in the back and is in terrible need of a trim.  
  
But he doesn't love me. I have watched him closely to see if he feels the same way for me as I do for him. Sadly, all he feels is the love of friendship. I have tried to get something out of Ron, but he refuses to speak except to tease me about loving Harry.  
  
I have suffered much angst and heartbreak because of this. But I refuse to take it any longer. I have suffered enough. Enough to make my decision. I am leaving. And so, I say my farewells.  
  
  
  
Good-bye, Harry. Remember, I always did and always will love you with all my heart. You'll find the locket you gave me on my bedside table beside my wand.  
  
Good-bye, Ron. You were a great friend, even if all we ever did was argue. I knew I could trust you.  
  
Good-bye, Mum and Dad. You were the best parents anyone could ever have. I love you.  
  
Good-bye, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and family. I thank you for your hospitality. I always had a good time at the Burrow.  
  
Good-bye, Professors. You will find all of my homework in my bag. I always loved Hogwarts and always will.  
  
Good-bye, Malfoy. Even though you insulted me the whole time I knew you, this filthy little Mudblood knows that deep down inside, you're really a good guy.  
  
Good-bye, Hogwarts students. I hope you enjoyed the company of your Head Girl while it lasted.  
  
Good-bye, Sirius. May you keep on being the best godfather you can to Harry. I trust that you will keep him safe now that I am no longer around.  
  
Good-bye, Remus. You were one of the best DADA teachers I have ever had. Keep Harry, Ron and Sirius out of trouble for me, will you?  
  
Good-bye, cruel world. I had some good times in my life, but they have all disappeared now that I love but am not loved. I shall miss all of your inhabitants, even Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
  
  
You shall find my body lying at the bottom of the lake, with many a broken bone from my fall into the water from the steep cliff on the side of the lake farthest from the castle. I pray that you give me a proper funeral and burial, with my wand and a copy of Hogwarts: A History lying in my coffin alongside me. I wish thay you bury me in my best dress robes, which are lying upon my bed. I pray that my flowers be lilies and roses and that you do not cry for me. I am only a bushy-haired, goody-goody Mudblood. And now, I close my letter with a final farewell and my name, written in a purple ink that I made myelf and cannot be found anywhere else in the world.  
  
Farewell cruel world,  
  
Hermione Elizabeth Granger  
  
P.S. I wish my headstone to read as follows:  
  
Here lies Hermione E. Granger,  
  
Who died of a broken heart.  
  
She loved but was not loved.  
  
September 19, 1980 to March 19, 1998  
  
Died at the age of seventeen and a half years old.  
  
May her spirit rest in peace.  
  
Harry set down the parchment, his head bowed. When he looked up, Ron saw his eyes shining with tears.  
  
"We have to find her," he croaked. Ron rodded, and they raced out of the common room.  
  
When they got to the Entance Hall, they found Malfoy standing in front of the bulletin board, his face paler than usual.  
  
"Potter, you might want to read this," he told them, gesturing to it. Harry went over and began to read, before turning to Ron.  
  
"It's the same thing she left in the common room," he said. "She must have made two copies." He turned to Malfoy. "Which way did she go?"  
  
Malfoy looked at them, an annoying smirk on his face. "Why should I tell you where that filthy Mudblood went?" he asked mavolently. "It's none of my business, you're the one she loves."  
  
Harry drew his wand out and pointed it at him. "Tell me where she went, or I'll hex you to pieces." His voice was dripping with venom.  
  
"All right, all right. She went out by the lake, after she cussed at me."  
  
Harry looked surprised. "Hermione? She cussed at you?" Malfoy nodded.  
  
"Well, she probably had a good reason, you know he's a smarmy git," Ron said.  
  
"But Hermione hardly ever cusses. Unlike you, Ron."  
  
"Still...."  
  
"Oh, shut up! I'm going after her."  
  
"I'm coming with you."  
  
"No you aren't. I'm going alone. She loves me, so I'm the one who should go after her."  
  
Ron sighed. "All right. Good luck, mate. I'll go tell Dumbledore."  
  
"There's no need, I'm already here," said a voice behind them.  
  
"Professor! Hermione's attempting suicide!"  
  
Dumbledore sighed. "I know. Harry, I want you to go after her and bring her to my office immediately. Do whatever you must to bring her back alive."  
  
Harry nodded. "I'll do my best, Professor." He started off around the lake. Suddenly, he came to the cliff. There was Hermione, standing there.  
  
~~~~~~~~~Hermione~~~~~~~~  
  
She closed her eyes and raised her arms, preparing to dive. And then....  
  
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A/n: Dum-dum-dum! Okay, so I've dropped the big bomb... does she jump or not? Wait for Chapter 2: The Kiss. 


	2. The Rescue (I know it isn't the title I ...

A/n: Welcome to Chapter 2 of The Angst of Hermione Granger! In the last chapter, Hermione attempted suicide. *Sniff* How tragic. In this chapter, we find out if she jumps or not! This chapter may not have the title aforementioned in chapter 1, I apologize if so. DC: Same as 1st chapter.  
  
```````````````````````````````````````````````````` Chapter 2: The Rescue ````````````````````````````````````````````````````  
  
Hold me now, I'm six feet From the edge And I'm thinking Maybe six feet Ain't so far down  
  
Creed, 'One Last Breath'  
  
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````` She closed her eyes and raised her arms, preparing to jump. And then.... ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` `````````````````````````````  
  
And then she was seized from behind and pulled away from the cliff's edge. Her captor held her by the waist, and he had a hand clamped tightly over her mouth. She began to struggle. He chuckled.  
  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Bit stupid, really." Hermione recognized that voice.  
  
"Harry?" she asked, though the question was muffled.  
  
"Yep. How'd you know?"  
  
"Pull your hand off my face and I'll tell you," she replied. He did so, moving it to pin her arms to her side. She smiled, though he couldn't see her. "I know because I know your voice. Honestly, don't you notice?"  
  
"Notice what?"  
  
"How I've listened to you so much. So much, that, after a while, I know your voice from just one word."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah. Now, if you'd let me go, I'd like to die now." She began wiggling.  
  
Harry snorted. "As if. I know you like life too much. Besides, you don't even love me. That letter and this fake attempt at suicide were just a desperate attempt for attention." Hermione tried to stifle a small sob, but couldn't.  
  
She turned and looked up at him, tears flowing down her cheeks. "Who says I don't love you?" she asked softly. She scowled up at him, saying, "You don't know me, Harry Potter. You don't know me at all. I don't know what happened to you, but over the past week, you've been acting like an ass!"  
  
He glared down at her, a frown on his face. "You've acted like an ass this week, too, Granger, if you don't remember. You snapped at nearly all the students who talked to you, you've talked back to the teachers, and you cussed at Draco Malfoy. So don't go putting all the blame on me."  
  
Hermione was taken aback. Harry rarely ever called her Granger. Oh, he was pissed off now.... She sniffled.  
  
"And don't start crying on me, either. That little excuse won't work. Nor will 'it's that time of the month.' You'd better straighten up your act right now."  
  
"Just let me go, Harry. He is calling me. He wants me to leave this flock and join his."  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "And just who might this 'he' be?"  
  
Hermione looked up at the sky. "Him." She began to recite from the Holy Book. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge him, And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5,6. You see, Harry, the Lord is directing my path. He is directing it toward Heaven."  
  
"God can shove that idea up his ass for all I care," Harry said fiercely.  
  
(A/n: Please note that I am a God-fearing person. Harry, however, is not religious. I only made him say that because it seemed typical of him in this situation. So that's why I made him say it. I sincerely hope y'all don't take this as an insult. Thank you!)  
  
Hermione gasped. "Harry!"  
  
"Well, he can. You're coming back with me. Whether you like it or not."  
  
"Well, I don't, and I'm not coming with you. I'm telling you, he wants me. He is calling. I have to go."  
  
"Well if that's the way you put it," Harry said, putting an arm around her waist. "Then all I have to say is this: Desperate times call for desperate measures." He gestured to his shoulder. "Up you go!"  
  
She glared. "You wouldn't."  
  
"I would, and I am." And he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.  
  
"Put me down! This is undignified!"  
  
"Well, jumping off a cliff isn't very dignified either, is it?"  
  
She sighed. "No, it isn't. Now, put me down before I hurt you."  
  
He began to chortle. "You? Hurt me? The mere idea is laughable."  
  
She kicked him. "Ow."  
  
"I told you I could hurt you. Put me down."  
  
"Nope."  
  
She sighed. "Fine, take me. But you must take me as I am."  
  
And so, he took her. They walked for a while, Hermione thinking about what she'd done, and why she'd done it. Then all of the sudden, she spoke.  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
He stopped dead. "What?"  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
He put her down, holding her at arm's length by the shoulders. "Sorry for what?"  
  
She sighed and looked down at the ground. "Everything. I'm sorry for trying to kill myself; sorry for writing that horribly long letter; sorry for making you go to the library whenever there was trouble; and most of all, sorry for-mmph!"  
  
No one found out what she was sorry for most of all, for Harry had just kissed her.  
  
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Whoo! Cliffie! It sounds a lot like part of a chapter of Lily Vance's 'A Game of Chance', but I like it anyway. Nancey (my friend) likes it, too. Sorry for re-naming this chapter, but I really wanted a cliffie, so I ended it with Harry kissing our dear heroine. So the next chapter will be called 'The Kiss.' Have a great time! ~Katz  
  
P.S. There's a hidden CD title in this chapter. Can you find it? Thousand points to whoever can find it. But, the points don't matter. :p 


	3. The Kiss

******************** Chapter 3: The Kiss ********************  
  
"Everything. I'm sorry for trying to kill myself; sorry for writing that horribly long letter; sorry for making you go to the library whenever there was trouble; and most of all, sorry for-mmph!"  
  
No one found out what she was sorry for most of all, for Harry had just kissed her. **************************************************************************** ****  
  
Hermione was cut off as Harry covered her mouth with his own. She let out a soft 'mmph' as he did so. As he kissed her, she wondered why he was. After two seconds, she threw caution to the winds and kissed him back. Her hands went up encircle his neck and muss his hair. His hands began to roam up and down her back. After a moment, she felt his tongue running along her lower lip. The temptation was too much, so she opened her mouth and her tongue greeted his. They kissed this way for a few moments before Harry apparently came to his senses and pulled away. Hermione looked at him, confused, panting for breath.  
  
"Why did you do that?" she asked softly. He just looked down at his shoes and shook his head. "Harry, why did you kiss me?" she repeated.  
  
"I don't know. It was an impulse."  
  
"What do you mean, an impulse?"  
  
"Well, you were talking, and all of the sudden, this little voice in my head said, 'kiss her', so I kissed you."  
  
"Gee, and for a minute there I thought you loved me too," she murmured softly, looking down at the ground.  
  
Harry was quiet. "Don't let it get you down," he said. "Come on, I have to pick you up again."  
  
Hermione sighed. "All right." She stepped up to him, and he lifted her up and slung her over his shoulder.  
  
"So you don't love me?" she asked.  
  
"I didn't say that. I said I only kissed you because it was an impulse."  
  
"Right. In other words, you only kissed me to shut me up, or cheer me up, but you don't actually love me."  
  
"Are you being difficult on purpose?"  
  
"Maybe, maybe not. You can't tell from that angle."  
  
"Hermione!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You are being difficult!"  
  
"Am I? I didn't notice."  
  
Harry rolled his eyes, but Hermione didn't see him.  
  
"All right, change of subject. Herm, you've been getting thinner over the year. Is it because of me, or is it because of Head Girl duties and N.E.W.T.s?"  
  
Hermione sighed. "I thought you wouldn't notice. I've been getting thinner to--to make you like me."  
  
"Oh, Hermione. I do like you. But I don't like it when you starve yourself."  
  
"So you like me fat?"  
  
"You weren't fat! You had a beautiful figure."  
  
"So I suppose now you're going to make me eat something."  
  
"You bet. As soon as we get to the castle, I'm marching you into the Great Hall and making you eat something."  
  
"Well, the least you could do for my dignity is let me down before we go in and just hold my arm."  
  
"I suppose I could do that."  
  
"Thank you so much, Harry."  
  
They talked this way until they reached the steps leading to the Entrance Hall. At this point, Harry set her down on his right, and took hold of her upper arm. They walked into the castle and into the Great Hall. Practically the whole school was there waiting for them, especially Ron. When they walked in, his grin went all the way to his ears.  
  
"Look everybody," he called. "The Head Boy saved the Head Girl!" There were cheers all around. Hermione and Harry went scarlet.  
  
"Turn him into a newt," Hermione muttered to Harry. "Please." Harry shook his head and led her over to the Gryffindor table, where they each grabbed a napkin and some sandwiches. Hermione took three, and Harry took seven. After seeing how many she had taken, he added two more to her stack. She glared at him. He raised his eyebrows. She sighed. "Okay, let's get out of here." Harry nodded and led her out of the Great Hall.  
  
"I'm just going to hold your arm on the way to Dumbledore's office, okay? I don't want to have to carry you up all those stairs."  
  
"It's perfectly fine with me," Hermione said, biting into a sandwich.  
  
And so, they walked up to Dumbledore's office. Upon arriving in front of the gargoyle, Harry finished off his last sandwich and said, "Bright blue donkeys."  
  
The gargoyle came to life and jumped aside. They walked up to the office and knocked on the door.  
  
"Come in, Mr. Potter," called a voice. They entered. Dumbledore sat behind his desk, reading a long scroll of parchment. He looked up, setting the parchment down. "I see you saved her," he said with a smile. Harry nodded. "If I may have a word with Miss Granger alone?"  
  
"Of course, Professor," Harry said, exiting the room.  
  
"Have a seat, Hermione." Hermione sat down in one of the chairs. "Now, may I ask what prompted you to attempt suicide?"  
  
"I'm in love with Harry, sir."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And he doesn't love me back. I was so distressed about it, it led me to suicide. I could not bear to live and watch him date other girls."  
  
"Miss Granger, this is most unlike you."  
  
Hermione smiled dreamily. "Sometimes love makes us do the craziest things."  
  
"I've been thinking about making precautionary measures...." Dumbledore trailed off.  
  
"Precautionary measures for what, sir?"  
  
"To make sure you do not attempt what you just attempted again. From now on, you will be under Harry's eye 24/7. I will have the house elves move your bed and wardrobe into Harry's room. Your room will become sort of a sitting room. You will both share the same bathroom."  
  
"Sir, don't you think this is a bit harsh?"  
  
"Not at all, Miss Granger. Please tell Harry to come back in."  
  
She did so, and waited while Dumbledore explained the new procedures to him. Then Dumbledore handed them each a watch, though they both were different. Hermione's was simply a timepiece. Harry's, however, was a timepiece and a monitor. If he pressed the little button on the side, words flashed across the screen: Hermione is sitting in Professor Dumbledore's office. She is feeling somewhat depressed, yet content.  
  
"Harry, since you are now Hermione's 'personal bodyguard', you must know what she is doing at all times. The background color of the watch will tell you if she is in any danger. Blue means she is perfectly safe, green is a little trouble, yellow is normal, such as an encounter with Mr. Malfoy, orange is semi-dangerous, and red is lethal, or life-endangering."  
  
Harry nodded. "So I just look at it, and then I can press the button to see what's wrong."  
  
"Exactly. Now, if you'd like, you can leave, unless you'd like to talk more about this."  
  
Hermione shook her head. "No thank you, sir." They rose.  
  
"Have a nice rest of the day."  
  
"Of course, sir," replied Harry. They left.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed Chapter 1(There were WAY too many names!), Avira Faerytiger, DarkEcho(I don't like Mean!Harry either!), Lil One (Yes, I am evil, aren't I?), Caillean, Tyger (Yes, I do!), Clue67 (It was Harry, sorry. But you will get a little D/Hr in Ch. 6!), Lily Vance, Viwiel, Animagus (You're right!), nickle pickle daniel (Yes indeed! God bless America!), GryffinsEye (I love how you've reviewed nearly all my fics! And they're all positive! *huggles*), Maria1314, Srox4690, Lauren05, Hermione123 (*huggles* Thanks so much! And yes, you're right!), lilangel, and oliversgirl.  
  
THANKS, GUYS! 


	4. Surprises and a Quest No, not to destroy...

**Summary:** Harry's saved Hermione, but she's still down in the dumps. He does something to cheer her up, but leaves her alone with Ron (oh, the horrors!). Harry meets up with Lupin, and does something that Hermione never expected him to do.  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.   
**Author notes:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed!  
Lil One - Hey, a splash of D/Hr gives it plot! It's one-sided, don't worry.  
Stefanie R and Minnimione - You cried? :S That wasn't my intention! I swear on Tom Riddle Senior's grave!  
PeterMurray and Lylac - Hmmmmm....  
Mucho thanks to Lily Vance who kept yelling, "REMUS/TONKS!" and to my très grande beta, Rachel. (Speaking of betas, I could use another one!)  
Want updates? Click here!

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Chapter 4: Surprises and a Quest

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When they arrived back at the Gryffindor Common Room, Ron was there.

"Hey guys," he said. Hermione just glared.

"Herm, I've got a couple things to do, so can you stay here and help Ron with his homework?" asked Harry. Hermione nodded.

Harry headed off to Professor McGonagall's office and knocked on the door. 

"Come in." Harry went in, and McGonagall looked up. "Hello, Potter. How is Miss Granger? I heard about her... situation."

"Actually, Professor, she's the reason I wanted to see you."

"Oh. Why is that?"

"I'm on a mission to cheer her up, and I thought some flowers would be nice. But I wanted to get permission from you to cut some flowers out of the gardens."

"Is that it? Well Potter, I suppose you may have my permission, after all, Miss Granger is my favourite student, and I greatly appreciate any effort whatsoever to cheer her up. Tell me, are there any particular flowers you would like?"

"Actually, yes. Yellow roses, white lilies, and a purple flower of some sort."

"I know for a fact that the roses are blooming. Professor Sprout might have some lilies in Greenhouse One, and you can ask her about the purple flower as well." McGonagall quickly wrote something on a piece of parchment, and then handed it to Harry. "Take this to Professor Sprout. She'll help you."

"Thank you very much, Professor."

"And do come back and show me the finished arrangement, if you would."

"Of course Professor."

Harry headed to Greenhouse One and found Professor Sprout pruning some pine trees.

"Hello, Potter. What do you need?"

"Some yellow roses, white lilies, and a purple flower of some sort. They're for a bouquet for Hermione."

"For Granger, is it? Well, all right. Follow me."

She picked up a pair of clippers and led him to some pretty purple flowers next to some ferns. She clipped a couple of ferns before turning to Harry. "These are alyssum. Do you like these?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, they're pretty." Of course, he had absolutely no knowledge of flowers, except that a bouquet contained several types of flowers and he knew of some flowers that Uncle Vernon always got Aunt Petunia on special holidays.

She clipped four sprigs of the alyssum before heading over to the lilies. She cut six of these and laid both these and the alyssum in Harry's arms before heading outside to the roses.

Of these, Sprout clipped eight, and then carried them back to the greenhouse, Harry following behind.

Sprout began to make the bouquet. She placed a rose in the centre, and then placed two sprigs of alyssum on opposite sides of the rose. Then she put in lilies caddy-corner t the sprigs, and placed sprigs outside the lilies. She filled in the rest randomly. When she was done, she stuck in the ferns.

"What do you think, Potter?" she asked, turning and showing him the bouquet.

"It's lovely. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, Potter. Please give Miss Granger my sympathy."

"Sure," Harry said, taking the bouquet and leaving.

He stopped at Professor McGonagall's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in. Ah, Mr. Pot - oh, my, that's lovely, don't you think, Remus?"

Remus Lupin sat on one of the desks, grinning from ear to ear, although his eyes still held a sadness that would never go away.

"I was just telling him about the incident. Remus, do you need to tell him anything?"

"Follow your heart, Harry. Never give up what you believe in, be who you want to be, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again; all that junk."

Harry grinned. "How's Tonks?" Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin was Remus' wife of a year and a half, and they were expecting a child to be born sometime in late summer. 

"Good, good. Still hurling." They chuckled. "How's Hermione?"

Harry looked down at his watch. "She's feeling angry with me right now, because I left her with Ron, who's most likely missing obvious points in his homework." He grinned. "Poor Herm. I should probably get back to her." He turned to McGonagall. "Can I get a box for these flowers?"

"Certainly, and I'll put an Everlasting Charm on them as well." She did so, before conjuring up a box. This she handed to him, along with a sheet of parchment. "Could you tack that up on the announcement board in the Common Room for me?"

"Okay," Harry replied, taking the parchment and box. He then left. When he arrived in the Common Room, he found Hermione sitting cross-legged in an armchair, blatantly ignoring Ron, who sat at the table nearest her, puzzling over his Potions homework.

He went over to the notice board and tacked up the sheet of parchment, reading it as he did so. 

** 5th, 6th, and 7th Year Dance**

**April 26th, 8 PM** **The first dance will be led by the Head Girl and Head Boy** **Muggle music will be played** **Apparel will be Muggle dresses and suits**

Harry grinned, for he knew whom he would ask. He headed to his - _their_ room, laid the box on her bed, and opened it.

He grabbed a piece of parchment, quill, and ink, and scribbled a quick note to her. This he placed in the box.

After doing this, he picked up all the trash in the room, dug under his bed, and conjured up a few pillows in the corner to give her a little bit of a personal space. He would ask her if she wanted a curtain later.

He glanced at the clock. He still had a little time before dinner, so he went into the bathroom and cleaned up in there. Once he was finished, it was time for dinner.

He went into the Common Room to find Ron halfway through his Divination homework, and Hermione finishing up some Ancient Runes homework.

"Hey guys," Harry said brightly. "It's time for dinner."

"Can I just stay here?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Hermione, you're Head Girl. You _need_ to be down there," replied Ron.

"Someone will have to stay up here with you," Harry added.

She sighed and mumbled, "Fine."

"Besides, I have a surprise for you after dinner." 

She perked up. "What?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be surprise, would it? Now, come on." He put an arm around her shoulders and helped her up. She blushed.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" he questioned. She nodded, and he moved his arm to his side.

They headed down to dinner, where they were greeted by tumultuous applause. Hermione hid behind Harry, whispering, "Okay, I showed up, can I go back now? This is embarrassing..." 

"No. You need to eat."

"But... _please_, Harry!"

"No. You can wolf something down if you like, so we can get out of here as quickly as possible."

"Fine." They hurried over to the Gryffindor table, sat down, and quickly served themselves roast beef and potatoes. Harry did indeed wolf his down, but Hermione only picked at her food.

"C'mon, Herm, you're the one who wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible. You can eat that much; I only gave you a little bit."

Hermione slowly nodded and began to eat faster. In no time, she was done, and they were on their way back up to the Common Room. Harry led her to the door of their rooms.

"Close your eyes," he said softly. She did so. He gently guided her into the room until she had a view of everything. "You can open them now."

"Oh, wow... Harry, you _cleaned_..." 

Harry looked a little sheepish. "I thought you'd feel a bit more at home. I conjured up some pillows in that corner so that you would have a bit of personal space."

She went over and plopped down on them. "They're so soft!"

"I wanted to wait to ask you if you wanted a curtain around it."

She shrugged. "Okay." Yawning, she stood up. "Oh, my, I'm tired. Think I'll go to bed..." She went over to her dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas. "I'll change in the bathroom, all right?"

He nodded, and she headed to the door. Two minutes later, she emerged. Her pajamas were patterned with Sugar Quills, which Harry thought was rather cute. Her hair hung down below her waist. He had had no clue that it was that long, because she wore it up all the time. 

She yawned again as she walked over to her bed. It was then that she noticed the box. "What's this?" she asked, sitting down on her bed and pulling the box into her lap.

"The last bit of your surprise," Harry answered, sitting down on his bed across from her.

She slowly opened the box. "Oh my goodness...oh, wow, Harry...they're beautiful..." she breathed. Harry grinned and conjured up a vase before filling it with water from his wand and setting it on her bedside table. She stuck the flowers inside.

Then she saw the note. She picked it up and slowly unfolded it.

_ Dear Hermione, _

_ I thought these flowers might cheer you up. There's going to be a dance on April twenty-sixth, and I was wondering if you would go with me. If you don't, that's all right. Just thought I'd ask._

_ Love from,_

_ Harry_

When she finished reading, she slowly folded the note back up and set it on the bed. Then she stood up. Many confusing thoughts were going through her mind.

One screamed, _'He said 'love from,' and he's asked you to the dance. Doesn't this mean he feels the same way about you as you do about him?'_

Another, more logical thought said, _'No, he's just trying to make you feel better. And 'love from' is just a way to end a letter, silly.'_

A third drowned out the other two. _'Just accept the flowers and go to the dance with him. Carpe diem. Seize the moment.'_

She decided to go with the third thought. Harry had stood up as well. Hermione threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "I'd love to go to the dance with you."

He hugged her back, slightly uncomfortable. "Great. Now, we should get to bed."

She nodded and climbed under the covers. He headed to the bathroom, changed into his Snitch pajama pants and a white T-shirt, and climbed into bed himself after turning out the light.

***

He woke in the middle of the night to the sound of soft crying. Looking over to Hermione's bed, he saw that it was empty. He quietly slipped on his glasses and craned his neck to check if she was in the corner. She was.

The full moon outside the window gave him a little light. He silently slipped out of bed and tiptoed over to her. Her face was in her hands, and she did not notice him as he knelt down next to her. He hadn't added the curtain yet, so it was relatively easy for him to wrap his arms around her and hug her.

She gasped slightly and looked up. "Harry..."

"Shhh, 'Mione, it's all right. Relax... don't cry." 

This only made her cry harder. Her pulled her onto his lap and she sobbed into his shoulder. All the while, Harry comforted her, rubbed her back, and murmured soothing words.

Finally she looked up, right into his eyes. "I'm sorry, Harry," she whispered.

"Sorry for what?"

"Waking you up."

"Aw, Herm, it's no problem. I usually wake up in the middle of the night. I get nightmares." He grinned at her.

She blinked. "Harry... you're not... _are_ you?"

"Am I what?"

"Getting nightmares about Voldemort."

He bit his lip and quickly stood up. "Don't worry about it. Worry about yourself."

"Harry, you need to go to Professor Dumbledore if you're still having nightmares." She looked up at him with her big brown eyes, and he melted.

"I already did," he murmured quietly, "but Dumbledore waved it off as an after affect of what happened in January."

"Harry... stop brooding on the past," she reprimanded quietly.

"I can't. It's my fault those people died! If Voldemort wasn't after me, he would never have been in Hogsmeade that day and those students would never have been killed!"

"Harry...you've got to stop blaming yourself. Voldemort hates Muggleborns, you know that, and all the students who died were Muggleborn. Harry, please..."

"Hermione, no matter which way you look at it, it's still all my fault. Those people died because of me, and because Voldemort hates me. It's only a miracle that several people from the DA were there to keep more from being killed." 

She bit her lip, opened her mouth, closed it, and shook her head. "I don't know what to say. We've got to get rid of those dreams, though."

Harry yawned. "I agree, but not tonight. Let's sleep on it, all right?"

"Sounds like a good plan to me," Hermione replied, standing up and stretching. "Good night, Harry."

"'Night 'Mione." They climbed into bed and fell asleep.

***

The next morning, they both woke very early, despite their late night 'escapade'. Harry was the first to wake. He took a quick shower before he went into the new study and started on his Transfiguration homework.

Minutes later, as he was puzzling over a review on human transfiguration, specifically Animagi, Hermione walked in, brushing her hair.

"Good morning Harry," she said, smiling at him. He grinned back.

"Good morning. How are you? Better than yesterday?"

"Much. Thanks for asking." She went over to her bag in the corner and pulled out her Transfiguration as well, before settling down to help Harry with his homework.

They had been doing homework (or trying to) for ten minutes, with Hermione explaining the complex spell used in becoming an Animagus, when Harry suddenly realized that... maybe... she had forgotten about his nightmares.

He couldn't have been more wrong. 

***b***

**Author notes:** Please review! Thank you for reviewing!   
  
Now I will copy another author and give you hints for reviews.  
  
"That was great! The good ship H/Hr sails on!"  
  
"D/Hr???? What in Dumbledore's name are you thinking?"  
  
"REMUS/TONKS!"  
  
"Ooh, hurry up with the next chapter, you no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-cliffie-writing-author!"


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